Last Thursday Emalee and I headed to Tulsa, OK. for our adoption agency's annual Korean Heritage Camp. This was our first year going and I was really looking forward to it. The first day was a little rough for me because I had been diagnosed with pneumonia/bronchitis just a few days prior and still wasn't feeling very well. I was still coughing a lot and a little tired, but decided to buck up and go anyway.
The first day there was really nice. I finally got to meet the 5 other mom's that I've been chatting with all these years. We all met for dinner, had a surprise baby shower for one of them and surprised another with a special gift. It was also so nice to see all of their little ones that we all have prayed for while we waited together, traveled and finally brought home!
I helped out the first day in the 4th grade class made up of about 24 kids. Although I was a little apprehensive about this, it worked out really well. All the kids seemed to really enjoy themselves and it was nice for me to see that they have really adjusted well and are happy. We had 3 teenage helpers in our class that were all boys. I actually enjoyed getting to know them the best. They were smart, funny, and very talented in various areas. They were great helpers and did a great job keeping order in the class and helping to look up our history characters that we were reporting on. As far as race/heritage goes it was interesting to see all the little Korean's walking around. I was definitely in the minority!
Saturday morning was the Birth Mother Seminar. Two Korean Birth Mother's that gave their babies up for adoption were guests at this years camp. Neither of the mother's gave birth to any of the children that attended camp. They each told their adoption story so I'll try to summarize what I remember to the best of my ability.
Birth Mother #1 was young. She looked like she was in her early 20's. She had broken up with her boyfriend about two months prior to finding out that she was pregnant. She called her now ex-boyfriend to tell him of her pregnancy and he told her that she needed to terminate the pregnancy. The mother went in for this procedure and was given an ultra sound. She said that when she heard her baby's heart beat she knew that she couldn't have an abortion and would keep her baby. As the months went on she was unable to stay at home. Her mother said that she would be a bad influence on her younger brother. She eventually wound up going to Esther's Home. (Esther's Home is a place that houses young pregnant mother's and gives them counseling among other things throughout their pregnancy. Brian and I got to visit Esther's home and even ate lunch with a few of the pregnant mom's while we were in Korea. The nursery where Emalee stayed at is also in this same building.) When the mother gave birth to her baby she stated that she wanted to keep him. After talking with her mother the decision was made to give the baby up for adoption. She talked about her grief and how she has suffered with depression. She said that she dealt with her grief by going to church to pray. She said that sometimes prayer works and sometimes it doesn't. She also said that she wanted to kill herself. The most touching part for me personally was that she said that when she feels like killing herself she will go check her baby's adoption file and sometimes there will be pictures or a letter from the adoptive family and then that makes her feel better. From what I understand, she finally has decided that to better herself educationally and by trying to live a good life she will be doing what is right for her baby. On a side note, from what I picked up on this mother's baby is just a few months younger than Emalee. The birth mother was most likely at Esther's Home while we were there getting Emalee.
Birth Mother #2 was much more emotional. She cried a lot when telling her story and is 33 years old. I never could determine how old her baby is.
This mother lived alone and became pregnant. She didn't know what options she had so she decided to keep her baby. The incredible part of her story is that she delivered her baby by herself at home. She did her best to take care of her baby and continued to work. When her baby became sick she knew that she had to do something. A friend suggested that she look into Eastern adoption agency. Because of the translation and language difficulties I couldn't tell if she stayed at Esther's Home but she did decide to put her child up for adoption. She said that she bathed him the night before she took him to the agency and held him all night. She also told of how she held him in one arm while she signed adoption papers with the other. Like the first mother she told of her depression. She said that she first turned to food for comfort, then to alcohol. She also stated that she wanted to die. She is now counseling other women going through these same issues.
As you can imagine, most of us adoptive parents sat there with tears in our eyes throughout the entire seminar. I can't imagine the courage that these two ladies had to speak in front of us. I also sat amazed at God's handy work. I could see where He is actively working in the lives of both of these ladies and making Himself known to them. I'm sure that coming to America was a tremendous trip for them....to be in the same country that their children are in had to be of some comfort to them. I'm amazed at how He intervened in the lives of these babies by using technology to get them to choose life! I'm also so glad that He taught me a few lessons by listening to them speak.
The birth mother's were asked "what should adoptive parents tell their children about their birth mother?" There is a notion in Korea that children who are placed for adoption have been abandoned. They said over and over that they "didn't abandon their babies, that they love their babies; they did it because of love, in the best interest of the baby." Over and over they talked about how much they love their babies.
There's so much more that I could write about this seminar but I'm running low on time this after noon. I'll continue with a few more thoughts in an upcoming post.
The first day there was really nice. I finally got to meet the 5 other mom's that I've been chatting with all these years. We all met for dinner, had a surprise baby shower for one of them and surprised another with a special gift. It was also so nice to see all of their little ones that we all have prayed for while we waited together, traveled and finally brought home!
I helped out the first day in the 4th grade class made up of about 24 kids. Although I was a little apprehensive about this, it worked out really well. All the kids seemed to really enjoy themselves and it was nice for me to see that they have really adjusted well and are happy. We had 3 teenage helpers in our class that were all boys. I actually enjoyed getting to know them the best. They were smart, funny, and very talented in various areas. They were great helpers and did a great job keeping order in the class and helping to look up our history characters that we were reporting on. As far as race/heritage goes it was interesting to see all the little Korean's walking around. I was definitely in the minority!
Saturday morning was the Birth Mother Seminar. Two Korean Birth Mother's that gave their babies up for adoption were guests at this years camp. Neither of the mother's gave birth to any of the children that attended camp. They each told their adoption story so I'll try to summarize what I remember to the best of my ability.
Birth Mother #1 was young. She looked like she was in her early 20's. She had broken up with her boyfriend about two months prior to finding out that she was pregnant. She called her now ex-boyfriend to tell him of her pregnancy and he told her that she needed to terminate the pregnancy. The mother went in for this procedure and was given an ultra sound. She said that when she heard her baby's heart beat she knew that she couldn't have an abortion and would keep her baby. As the months went on she was unable to stay at home. Her mother said that she would be a bad influence on her younger brother. She eventually wound up going to Esther's Home. (Esther's Home is a place that houses young pregnant mother's and gives them counseling among other things throughout their pregnancy. Brian and I got to visit Esther's home and even ate lunch with a few of the pregnant mom's while we were in Korea. The nursery where Emalee stayed at is also in this same building.) When the mother gave birth to her baby she stated that she wanted to keep him. After talking with her mother the decision was made to give the baby up for adoption. She talked about her grief and how she has suffered with depression. She said that she dealt with her grief by going to church to pray. She said that sometimes prayer works and sometimes it doesn't. She also said that she wanted to kill herself. The most touching part for me personally was that she said that when she feels like killing herself she will go check her baby's adoption file and sometimes there will be pictures or a letter from the adoptive family and then that makes her feel better. From what I understand, she finally has decided that to better herself educationally and by trying to live a good life she will be doing what is right for her baby. On a side note, from what I picked up on this mother's baby is just a few months younger than Emalee. The birth mother was most likely at Esther's Home while we were there getting Emalee.
Birth Mother #2 was much more emotional. She cried a lot when telling her story and is 33 years old. I never could determine how old her baby is.
This mother lived alone and became pregnant. She didn't know what options she had so she decided to keep her baby. The incredible part of her story is that she delivered her baby by herself at home. She did her best to take care of her baby and continued to work. When her baby became sick she knew that she had to do something. A friend suggested that she look into Eastern adoption agency. Because of the translation and language difficulties I couldn't tell if she stayed at Esther's Home but she did decide to put her child up for adoption. She said that she bathed him the night before she took him to the agency and held him all night. She also told of how she held him in one arm while she signed adoption papers with the other. Like the first mother she told of her depression. She said that she first turned to food for comfort, then to alcohol. She also stated that she wanted to die. She is now counseling other women going through these same issues.
As you can imagine, most of us adoptive parents sat there with tears in our eyes throughout the entire seminar. I can't imagine the courage that these two ladies had to speak in front of us. I also sat amazed at God's handy work. I could see where He is actively working in the lives of both of these ladies and making Himself known to them. I'm sure that coming to America was a tremendous trip for them....to be in the same country that their children are in had to be of some comfort to them. I'm amazed at how He intervened in the lives of these babies by using technology to get them to choose life! I'm also so glad that He taught me a few lessons by listening to them speak.
The birth mother's were asked "what should adoptive parents tell their children about their birth mother?" There is a notion in Korea that children who are placed for adoption have been abandoned. They said over and over that they "didn't abandon their babies, that they love their babies; they did it because of love, in the best interest of the baby." Over and over they talked about how much they love their babies.
There's so much more that I could write about this seminar but I'm running low on time this after noon. I'll continue with a few more thoughts in an upcoming post.
1 comment:
I am so glad you got go do this and hear the stories you did. How touching.
Laura
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